I awoke in a cold sweat, flooded by fears of what may come... Swim lessons. Five babies in one family. A little girl in floaties at 6. Dirty floors. Piano lessons. And somehow I ended up with..."You're a terrible Mother!" It all seems silly now. Was I really afraid that I wouldn't be able to get the kids swim lessons? Judging by my heart rate and the inability to sleep I would say, yes! I leaped out of bed and ran for the one thing I knew to do...grasped for my Bible.
I just sat in the living room, completely exhausted from the battle that had been raging in my mind. I tried opening my Bible, but the words were blurry from the tears that had been spilled over unrealized fears.
Lord, I don't know how to deal with all of these thoughts, terrors coming at me. I know I am being irrational, but I don't know how to conquer right now. I'm feeling cloudy. Weak. Insane.
I sat desiring with every ounce of energy left to hear from Him.
His sweet whisper came...
Heather, Sweet Heather, I promised you...
Remember my promises for you...
Yes, I remember my promise for this year, 2013! I had highlighted it in bright orange because I knew it was what God had for me this year. At the time I thought only claiming one promise was lazy on my part, but in the thick of fear, I only needed one.
I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye upon you! Psalm 32:8
I cannot fail my kids because He is my teacher. He is their teacher. All of the fears raging at me were dispelled at this realization.
Later in the day I found a card that a great lady had purposefully dropped in my diaper bag.
I will pour water on the thirsty land, and streams on the dry ground.; I will pour out my Spirit on your offspring, and my blessing on your descendants. They will spring up like grass in a meadow, like Poplar trees by flowing streams. Isaiah 44:3
In times of great fear...remember...remember His promises...remember His provision.
What are the promises God has given you for this year?