Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Metamorphosis of a Messed Up Mama

Metamorphosis is a biological process by which an animal physically develops... which is usually accompanied by a change of habitat or behavior. This is a Greek word which means transformation or change of shape.  (Thanks, Wikipedia)

I told my husband last night, "For the first time in my life I haven't had nightly 'Mom guilt' for quite a few nights in a row!  Maybe the Lord's changing me?"  He replied as a wonderful, supportive husband should, "That's awesome!  What's made the difference?"  Hmm....

Grace.

On this short journey of fearlessness I have found grace.  Grace that allows me to play with my kids and let  other things go at the moment.  Grace to stop and stand in awe of the beauty around me.  Grace to allow my kids to 'mess up' and make mistakes and learn from them.  Grace to go outside and play in the rain when there are e-mails to be answered.  Grace to put ourselves in uncomfortable people situations because we can rest in His love and protection for our family.  Grace to not nag my husband.  Grace to look different than I thought we would.  Grace to allow others to look down on me/us because we're not doing it like them.  Grace to homeschool our kids differently than others homeschool. Grace that sinks down deep into my soul.  Sweet Grace... Sigh...

Grace is this Mama's cocoon...Grace is changing me.  Oh, the beloved cocoon!

Where did this process begin?  On my knees...when I finally realized I couldn't do it on my own.  When all I could do was look up.

Where will this process take me?  Only God knows...but allowing the process to take place...to wait...to surrender completely...to slow down and listen...this is beauty.

Fearless: trusting God's process of Metamorphosis for me...trusting that in the end will emerge a beautiful butterfly (disclaimer: this butterfly will look unlike any other...her own special scars...her own God-given way of flying...you may not think she is the MOST beautiful or the butterfly you would have chosen...but she will be beautiful all the same!)!

Fearless Resources:

  • Simplehomeschool.net  (Jamie Martin, the editor of Simple Homeschool, has been a mentor on this journey...I haven't met her yet, but her writings have spoken peace and joy into my homeschooling heart)
  • Grace- Based Parenting by Dr. Tim Kimmel (this book came around Christmas as God was laying the word 'fearless' on my heart)
  • Leadership Education: The Phases of Learning (the book I can't put down...it's transforming this rigid-homeschooling mama) 
  • Lora Fanning of Vitafamiliae.com (this sweet Mama of seven is an inspiration)

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